This week: • CEO • TWOT™ • Net 2 •
• Congo • Bliar • Charbucks • Stuff •

 

Wanted: CEOs everywhere

Global Exchange has published its “Most Wanted” Corporate Human Rights Violators of 2005 — a list of 14 of the very worst corporates, who between them have been responsible for assassination, torture, kidnapping, environmental degradation, abusing public funds, violently repressing political rights, releasing toxins into pristine environments, destroying homes, discrimination, and causing widespread health problems.

Here’s a summary of the roll call of shame.

Caterpillar — steamrollering the Palestinians to extinction. Abuses include contracting with known violators of human rights, enabling house demolition, supplying equipment that kills Palestinian civilians and American peace activists.

For years, the Caterpillar Company has provided Israel with the bulldozers used to destroy Palestinian homes. Despite worldwide condemnation, Caterpillar has refused to end their corporate participation house demolition by cutting off sales of specially modified D9 and D10 bulldozers to the Israeli military.

Chevron — wherever it goes, under whatever name, damage is done.

“The petrochemical company Chevron is guilty of some of the worst environmental and human rights abuses in the world,” claims Global Exchange. Chevron, and its merged subsidiaries Texaco and Unocal, have in the past unleashed a toxic “Rainforest Chernobyl” in Ecuador, helped repress thousands of Nigerians, and collude with the Burmese ruling military junta.

Coca-Cola — besides rotting children’s teeth and guts everywhere, the world’s most recognized brand is also complicit in violent killings, kidnap and torture, water privatization, health violations, and discriminatory practices. From assassinations in Colombia to beatings in Turkey and parched throats in India, Coke is the real thing when it comes to human rights abuses as both CokeWatch and KillerCoke can attest.

Dow Chemical — America’s finest WMD producers. Agent Orange and napalm left a brutal imprint in Vietnam — both Dow inventions, while pesticides given to Saddam Hussein in 1988 helped kill thousands of Kurds. And there is the legacy of the worst chemical disaster in history — the Bhopal explosion in India, which injured more than 150,000 and killed more than 22,000 for which Dow has done nothing to redress its crimes. Check out the Dow Accountability Network for more on its toxic past.

Dyncorp/CSC — Killers for hire. “Private security contractors have become the fastest-growing sector of the global economy during the last decade — a $100-billion-a-year, nearly unregulated industry. DynCorp, one of the providers of these mercenary services, demonstrates the industry’s power and potential to abuse human rights. While guarding Afghani statesmen and African oil fields, training Iraqi police forces, eradicating Colombian coca plants, and protecting business interests in hurricane-devastated New Orleans, these hired guns bolster the security of governments and organizations at the expense of many people’s human rights,” notes Global Exchange.

Ford Motor Company — driving the world to extinction. Americans’ addictions to fuel guzzling cars uses more oil than anyting else in the US of A and Ford are the worst offenders. Every year since 1999, the US Environmental Protection Agency has ranked Ford cars, trucks and SUVs as having the worst overall fuel economy of any American automaker. Ford’s current car and truck fleet has a lower average fuel efficiency than the original Ford Model-T. Ford is also in last place when it comes to vehicle greenhouse gas emissions. According to a recent report by the Union of Concerned Scientists, Ford has “the absolute worst heat-trapping gas emissions performance of all the Big Six automakers.” In fact, if Ford were a country, it would be the 10th largest global warming polluter worldwide, behind Italy. Jumpstart Ford has more oily details.

Kellogg, Brown, and Root — Cheney’s retirement fund. Global Exchange lists KBR’s violations as  overcharging and providing unnecessary services on taxpayer’s dollar, bribery, exploiting third country nationals. The military support firm “notorious for its questionable bookkeeping[eg $100 laundry bags and $45 cases of soda], dishonest billing practices, and no-bid contracts, KBR has violated human rights on the US dollar.” Many third-country national (TCN) laborers have been hired by KBR to “rebuild” Iraq. Generally hailing from impoverished Asian countries, they have unexpectedly become part of the largest civilian workforce ever hired in support of a US war.  Once abroad, the workers find themselves with few protections and uncertain legal status. Further reading on this subsidiary of Dick Cheney’s former firm can be viewed at Halliburton Watch.

Lockheed Martin — Illustrating how well war pays. The world’s largest military contractor has seen its stock value triple since Bush came to power. As the Center for Corporate Policy notes, it is no coincidence that Lockheed VP Bruce Jackson — who helped draft the Republican foreign policy platform in 2000 — is a key player at the Project for a New American Century, the intellectual incubator of the Iraq war. Stephen J. Hadley, who now has Condoleeza Rice’s old job as Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs, was formerly a partner in a big DC law firm representing Lockheed Martin. The Brandywine Peace Community have more info on this behemoth.

Monsanto — destroying agriculture the world over. The dominant genetically engineered seed provider is responsible for pushing out subsistence farms and destroys arable land by drastically decreasing soil and water quality for years, draining soil of key nutrients. The company also undercuts food prices by flooding countries like Mexico, India, and Brazil with cheap, genetically modified foods, resulting in the displacement of millions of farm workers, who are forced to migrate to cities or work as landless peasants or share croppers. Read more about them including their hugely deadly herbicide Roundup over at GM Watch.

Nestlé — children’s food by children. “There’s a secret in the chocolate industry, and once people find out about it, their chocolate doesn’t taste as sweet any more,” writes Global Exchange. “Much of the chocolate eaten all over the world is made of cocoa beans that have been harvested by illegal child labor, including child slave labor.” Just this summer, the International Labor Rights Fund and a Birmingham law firm filed a class-action lawsuit against Nestlé and several of its suppliers on behalf of former child slaves. Don’t even get us started on the multinational’s shameless promotion of expensive and less healthy baby milk powder over free and far more healthy breast milk in developing nations.

Philip Morris — selling death in packs of twenties. According to the World Health Organization, tobacco is the second major cause of preventable death in the world. Philip Morris is the world’s largest and most profitable cigarette corporation. Philip Morris deceives consumers about the harm of its products by offering light, mild and low-tar cigarettes that give consumers the illusion that these brands are “healthier” than traditional cigarettes. It spends millions of dollars every day marketing and promoting cigarettes to youth. Overseas, it has even hired underage Marlboro girls to distribute free cigarettes to other children and sponsored concerts where cigarettes were handed out to minors. Preliminary numbers released by the World Health Organization predict global deaths due to smoking-related illnesses will nearly double by 2020, with more than three-quarters of those deaths in the developing world.

Pfizer — Killer price-gouging. Like other drug companies, Pfizer sells its drugs at prices poor people cannot afford and aggressively fight efforts to make it easier for generic drugs to enter the market.

Suez-Lyonnaise Des Eaux (SLDE) — Turning water into dollars. “The privatization of water has had a disastrous impact on the human right to clean water, and the French company Suez is the worst perpetrator of this abuse,” writes Global Exchange.For example, in Manila, Philippines, after seven years of water privatization under a Suez company (Maynilad Water) contract, studies showed that water rates increased in some neighborhoods by 400 to 700 percent. These studies also showed that the negligence of the company resulted in cholera and gastroenteritis outbreaks that killed six people and severely sickened 725 in Manila’s Tondo district. Stop Suez has more.

Wal-Mart — Subjugating the masses, exploiting the poor and ruining choice everywhere. Wal-Mart is the biggest corporation in the world. It owns 5,100 stores worldwide and employs 1.3 million workers in the United States and 400,000 abroad, as well as a millions more in the factories of its suppliers. Because of the company’s enormity, its business model has a huge influence on workers and businesses around the world; so far Wal-Mart has used that influence to ruthlessly drive down costs as a means of making profit, violating a vast array of human rights and labor rights along the way. Wal-Mart Watch can fill in the full horror story.

 

For the full details of the Global Exchange report including contact details for all the CEOs of these firms click here.

 

 

TWOT™ Inc.’s next hostile takeover

Lockheed Martin, Raytheon, Halliburton et al are all salivating at the latest senseless expansion in The War on Terror™ (TWOT™) with Dubya taking his band of increasingly exhausted troops into another desert. The White House has outlaid half a billion dollars to extend its TWOT™ remit to a totally unnecessary area — the Sahara Desert.

The operation is called the Trans-Sahara Counter-Terrorism Initiative, with Algeria, Chad, Mali, Mauritania, Niger, Senegal, Morocco, Nigeria and Tunisia all listed as participants.

Once again it looks very much like the US is looking to create ferment where there was none in order to perpetuate TWOT™ to truly be Cold War II — a generations long skirmish that keeps the military industrial complex fat. Critics say the Sahara is not a terrorist zone, as some senior US military officers assert, and they warn that a heavy-handed military and social campaign that reinforces authoritarian regimes in North and West Africa could fuel radicalism where it scarcely exists.

If anything, the (initiative) ... will generate terrorism, by which I mean resistance to the overall US presence and strategy,” said Jeremy Keenan, a Sahara specialist at the University of East Anglia in Britain.

A report by the International Crisis Group, a Brussels-based think tank, said that although the Sahara is “not a terrorist hotbed,” repressive governments in the region are taking advantage of the Bush administration’s TWOT™ to tap US largesse and deny civil freedoms.

And further unsurprising motivation for Dubya to expand his warmongering eyes to this part of the world comes in the familiar form of abundant supplies of oil. “African oil is of national strategic interest to us, and it will increase and become more important as we go forward,” Walter Kansteiner, former assistant secretary of state for African affairs, said as early as 2002. A report by the National Energy Policy Development Group anticipates that by 2015, West Africa will provide a quarter of the oil imported by the United States. Amazing how TWOT™ and oil reserves always collide isn’t it?

 

• The US’ foray into a seemingly terrorist-lite zone such as the Sahara once again reminds us of this excellent game, September 12, where the more terrorists you kill the more innocent civilians die and the more grieving other citizens become terrorists.

 

 

The internet is bad for you, says AOL

Imagine a beer company running an advert that concentrated on what a bad product beer was for your health. Craziness? Shooting yourself in the foot, surely. Well, there’s a strange piece of brainwashing going on at AOL, the American internet giant, who are running an ad at the moment (which you can see by clicking here) which makes out that the internet, where Canned Revolution spends most of its time, is a very bad thing. Now why would they do that? Even on its forums every title is about how evil the internet is. So what gives? Have AOL self-destructed, hit the egg nogg too hard over the festive season or is there something more sinister going on, something that might even usher the demise of this very email?

With foreboding music, cold imagery and a dour voiceover, the ad leaves the viewer wondering if the internet is sewing the seeds of mankind’s destruction.

Scenes of nuclear holocaust , Hitler, the Ku Klux Klan and Osama bin Laden flash up as we are told that the Internet is a “dangerous weapon.” The ad revels in the specter of big brother watching us all and warns us that everything we do on the Internet is under surveillance. The AOL ‘discuss’ website promotes donations to the Disasters Emergency Committee, which is in part controlled by World Vision, a known CIA front charity.

Take a look at the transcript lifted from AOL’s website, along with direction notes.

Voice over: Some people think the internet is a bad thing.

Images: Blue-print of computer circuit board, close-up of eye.

Voice over: Thanks to the internet, your identity can be stolen, your home invaded and your savings robbed without anyone setting foot inside your door.

Images: Travelling down the line image, stick men, revolving head, hand opening window as old couple and std sit at table in background, blue-print of house, house exploding.

Voice over: The internet is one of the most dangerous weapons every created. A way for the unhinged to spread evil, free of supervision or censorship.

Images: Atom bomb, lies transmitter, b/w Nazis (3), skin-heads, KKK, Osama Bin Laden, headlines.

Voice over: A place for mankind to exercise its darkest desires. Images Porn: silhouette, director viewing, close-up, girl looks at camera.

Voice over An open market where you can purchase anything you want. Images Products flash up and then baby with price tag.

Voice over: Orwell was right.

Images: 1984 footage

Voice over: The internet has taken us to a place where everything we do is watched, monitored and processed without us ever realising.

Images: Kid on hobby-horse, surveillance cameras etc. Voice over Some people think the internet is a bad thing. Images: View of old man looking at CCTV camera.

Voice over: What do you think?

AOL has joined the establishment ranks intent on destroying the current internet and get us all using the super controlled, government regulated Internet 2 whereby state approval to even own a website will be required and in the short-term future, only citizens with a ‘green’ color code security level on their national ID card will be given permission to use the internet at all.

For most mainstream media guzzlin’ folk this won’t be a problem but for the likes of you and me, the people who question the stated facts, our global forum for dissent, the internet as we know it now, will cease to exist, under the pretext that ‘terrorists’ can use it to shut down the global economy. The War on Terror™ (TWOT™) strikes another blow for freedom.

Alex Jones of Prison Planet maintains: “The elite are in panic mode. Newspaper circulation is dwindling, less people watch TV news. The biggest growth sector on the Internet is alternative news, second only to porn.

“The elite are in a desperate race to regain control of the Internet because it has become a well-spring for discussion of alternative ideas and the truth behind the 24/7 propaganda brainwashing churned out by big brother.”

It is clear that AOL is playing its part in introducing the idea of censorship of the internet, under the false notion of having a ‘debate’ about it. Watch for Google and Microsoft to play their information guardian roles too. If we do not fight then soon, the Revolution will not be internetized.

 

 

Worst crisis you’ve never heard of

Do you know which conflict has created the greatest humanitarian crisis since the end of World War Two? Bet you don’t. You probably only hear about this country once or twice a year. Vietnam? No. Korea? Negative. Iraq? Not yet.

A survey out last Friday showed in fact that more people have died in the brutal Congo conflict than anywhere else, nearly four million, mainly through hunger and disease.

“Congo is the deadliest crisis anywhere in the world over the past 60 years,” said Richard Brennan, health director of the New York-based International Rescue Committee that counted the human cost of the conflict.

“Ignorance about its scale and impact is almost universal and international engagement remains completely out of proportion to humanitarian need,” Brennan said after the survey findings were published in the Lancet medical journal.

The U.N.’s 17,000-strong Congo peacekeeping force -- its biggest in the world -- is trying to establish order across Africa’s third largest country in the wake of the war which began in 1998 and officially ended in 2003.

Bands of gunmen still intimidate civilians in large areas, particularly in the east whose mineral riches are believed to have fueled a conflict that at one point drew in six foreign armies and was dubbed Africa’s first world war.

After surveying 19,500 households across the former Belgian colony, the survey calculated that the mortality rate was 40 percent higher than that of Sub-Saharan Africa, with more than 1,200 people dying every day.

Up to 20 percent of children are malnourished. Most deaths, especially in children, occur from easily preventable illnesses.

“National and international efforts to address the crisis remain grossly inadequate,” the survey concluded, arguing that more, better trained peacekeeping troops were speedily needed.

The survey authors’ outrage was echoed by Evelyn Depoortere of the Paris-based aid agency Epicentre who said “Rich donor nations are miserably failing the people of the Democratic Republic of Congo.”

“Every few months the mortality equivalent of two southeast Asian tsunamis ploughs through its territory,” Depoortere said in a commentary to accompany the survey findings.

“We can no longer claim ignorance about this and other wars’ profound and protracted effect on human health,” she said.

 

• Medecins Sans Frontiers have been operating in the Democratic Republic of Congo since 1985. Thousands of lives can be saved through simple, cheap inoculations. Click here to donate.

 

 

London bombings lack inquiry

“What is history, but a fable agreed upon?”
— Napoleon

We are a bit late on the following story but thought it was well worth a rant regardless, and hey, we’ve been away.

The UK political set up is so limited, democracy barely exists. As Lord Hailsham once pointed out, the UK is an elective dictatorship.

Even though there are darn good reasons to take a closer look at what happened on last July 7’s bombings in London the government announced last month that there will be no public inquiry into the event and instead the public will just have to accept the government’s published account of the event that neatly avoids all the controversial aspects of the event.

The little red email helps you join up the dots on that sad day by looking at Mossad’s involvement here as well as the faulty CCTV images, the skewed nature of the explosions here and the fact that the head bomber was an MI6 asset. In years to come when the full shameful details of the con trick that is The War on Terror™ (TWOT™) inevitably come out into the open, Blair’s lies will haunt his legacy.

 

 

…and sometimes the bear eats you

In a rare reversal for the world’s most dominant coffee chain, Starbucks, surprisingly lost a court case last week against a small family run New Hampshire coffee roaster, Black Bear Micro Roastery. The New England firm can continue to sell its popular dark roast coffee beans that it labels “Charbucks” after a near decade long legal battle came to an end.

The judge said that there was no way consumers would be confused between Starbucks and Charbucks — perhaps she had tasted the low grade pap with the heavy residue that is Starbucks coffee. She also ruled that the world’s largest coffee shop chain had failed to prove the "Charbucks" products had tarnished its image.

Late last year, a federal judge in Oregon ruled in favor of Starbucks in a case involving a woman named Samantha Buck who had named her Astoria, Oregon coffee shop Sambucks. A Chinese coffee chain with a remarkably similar logo to Starbucks also lost a case against the ace legal team Starbucks employs last week.

The derivation of Charbucks came about in the mid-1990s when folk in the Boston area asked their local coffee shops to make a darker roasted coffee. A coffee chain owner at the time felt so strongly that Starbucks “over roasted” all of their coffee, he began to refer to Starbucks as “Charbucks” extensively. With this in mind the over roasted beans people were demanding Black Bear thought it would be humorous to call their product Charbucks, but the boys in green thought otherwise.

The incredible rise of such a bland phenomenon as Starbucks is alarming. From barely any outlets at the start of the 1990s, it now has 10,000 and is multiplying like a virus.

The coffee they sell is poor, and bought on the cheap. As one blog puts it, “Most people don’t know shit from shinola when it comes to good coffee and Starbucks has taken advantage of that fact. They say that their roast is burnt for their customers because they have "distinctive taste" (quoted from some TV show interviewing one of their tasters and the founders). BULLSHIT. Can you say ‘the emperor has no clothes’? Don’t join in guys. It’s still burnt beans and it tastes like shit. Roasting coffee may not be easy, but it isn’t rocket science either.”

Starbucks is the Budweiser of coffees... undrinkable to anyone who has experienced real coffee (or real beer). Starbucks has predatory business practices. Common practices are things like paying landlords to not renew leases for coffee shops so that they can move in, as brilliantly explained in Naomi Klein’s No Logo (NICK SOURCE LINK).

The gross profit margin per store is, on average, 59.1%, therefore there is plenty of room for the company to pay more than a dollar a pound for coffee and thus enhance the lives of coffee growers the world over.

Starbucks also gives false employee benefits. They give part time workers (20 hours per week) health insurance. However, so many employees are rostered to work 15 minutes shy of earning those costly benefits.

Finally, the crap they sell is incredibly unhealthy. Get the nutritional information from their website; it is appalling. The Caramel Pecan Sticky Roll has more fat than a Big Mac or even worse, the Eggnog Latte. And at three quid a cup, the whole operation is simply a license to print money at everyone else’s expense.

 

• For our American readers head on over to the Delocator which will help you find a non-corporate coffee shop.

 

 

Stuff we like

A hotchpotch of stuff we’ve found and enjoyed recently on the Weird Wide Web.

Get your lovely T-shirts while they’re hot!
Everybody loves a winner. Nobody likes a loser. Nobody likes to be a loser. So with this in mind, Canned Revolution have set it up so that you can now buy your own Canned Revolution T-Shirt, and pretend that you won it in our competition. We’ll back up any claims to being a lucky winner by anyone who purchases a freshly tinned t-shirt to help the cause.

Owning your own Canned Revolution shirt could be a great way of life for you — imagine the friends, the opportunities, the fame, the copious offers of gratuitous sex.

Don’t delay! Buy your way into coolness today by clicking here.

 

For those who can’t afford a shirt…
There is a new chance to win one, as a fresh competition begins today.

 

After the no X in Xmas…
Firstly an apology to the Eastern orthodx church: whilst January 6 may or may not be Dionysus and Osiris’ birthdays, the reason they celebrate Xmas that day is because the rejected all the Calendar jiggery-pokery necessary to make the year keep time with the sun. Now we present this mildly interesting, if a little low-brow, debunking of the big X himself, JC. What really keeps it interesting is that the debunker is a former Christian fundamentalist. The God Who Wasn’t There.

 

Iraq — The Bloody Circus
An interesting mix of documentaries run by Channel 4, on Iraq. Why the Arabs Hate the West, seeks to investigate the many reasons the Arabs actually have for being anti-Western rather than the vague and non specific ones touted by Bush & Blair and the media. Why We Went to War looks at the run up to war for Bliar, and posits that he thought he could control Bush, but eventually couldn’t. Torture — The Guantanamo Guidebook is a tiny taster of Gitmo conditions and practices. It was ironic to note that the Gitmo apologists in the group who experienced 48 hours of Gitmo were no longer Gitmo apologists at the end of their tiny taste of torture.
Most enlightening of all perhaps are the little shorts where Iraqis talk about various things: Um Mohammad tells of searching for and finding her 7-year-old son’s body after a suicide bombing; Taha the Grocer talks about the newly introduced rationing; and — perhaps most ironic and heart-breaking of all — Sheikh Sudani talks about burying unidentified bodies, and how after Saddam, the work has increased from 30-40 a month to 200-250. They also highlight how little the media let Iraqis say anything about the occupation: almost all reports are from either a journalist’s perspective or a US army perspective. There were also two rather more frivolous films, TV Iraqi Style and Mark Thomas — Debt Collector, which we might stick up another time.

 

Another black mark against Wal-Mart
Not content with all the other dreadful things Wal-Mart has done, the retail giant hit the news again this week for its website suggesting that shoppers who wanted to buy a “Planet of the Apes” DVD would be interested in movies about Martin Luther King Jr, actress Dorothy Dandridge, boxer Jack Johnson and singer Tina Turner.
Wal-Mart’s damage control PR team stepped in immediately, blaming a glitch for the racist innuendo.
The process “does not work correctly and at this point is mapping seemingly random combinations of titles,” Wal-Mart spokeswoman Mona Williams said.“We were horrified to discover that some hurtful and offensive combinations are being mapped together.”
“It’s outrageous. I’ve never heard of anything like that,” the Rev. Al Sharpton said when he was told of the pairings. “They need to straighten it out, and if they do not clarify what happened, we need to take some action.”

 

War runs into the trillions
We’re no longer in Kansas. The Iraq War has cost taxpayers more than a trillion bucks, far more than the 200 billion number banded around.

 

Gitmo postcard
While you were scribbling postcards from whatever sunny clime you chosefor your Xmas holiday, Sami Muhydin al-Hajj, an Aljazeera cameraman, penned his lawyer a letter from his prison in Guantanamo. Punished for three grains of rice and four ants, here it is.

 

Sharon by Fisk
After weeks of hearing Sharon touted as a man of peace, and the last hope for the “peace process”, Robert Fisk helps us remember the truth. Let us not shed a tear for this butcher: Fisk shows the real Ariel Sharon.

 

John Pilger on the quiet death of freedom
This article is a must read for all canned revolutionaries in the new year

 

The pimping of the presidency
A new year and scandals a plenty kicking off in Washington. Republicans for sale. How much would you pay for an audience with Dubya? Read on.
Mark Fiore turns his flash eye on to the scandal with Jackopoly.

 

Bush plays nuclear double standards
Surprise, surprise: some countries are more equal than others when it comes to nukes: India good, Iran bad.

 

Revolutionary gets dolled up
Venezuela’s top-selling toy this Christmas was an action doll figure of President Hugo Chavez. We want one so it can fight with our own Bush doll.

 

US satellites used to spy on green ships
According to ABC News, the Japanese Institute of Cetacean Research (JICR), who are in charge of Japanese whaling activities requested and got US naval intelligence satellite surveillance of the anti-whaling activities of Greenpeace and Sea Shepherd in the Southern Ocean, on the grounds that the greens’ harassment of its whaling fleet amounted to piracy. Perhaps greenpeace should ask for surveillance of the Japanese whaling fleet too: the Japanese whaler Nisshin Maru’s ramming Greenpeace’s Arctic Sunrise also amounts to piracy, surely?

 

Life in flash format
Observe these social interactions, then wonder at how the world is like it is today.

 

Real life imitating adbusting
OK, OK it’s not strictly an adbust, and it’s a bit late, but we got this wonderful WTO in Hong Kong photo from our friend Chico, and we just couldn’t resist. Can you blame us?

That’s right! You too can get one of our t-shirts. Simply brush up your Photoshop skills and send your corporate subversion images to adbusting@cannedrevolution.com, such as the one above to stand a chance of being selected the weekly winner of our brand new little red adbuster of the week competition. The winner will be chosen by the revolutionary collective here on our own Fantasy Island. Alternatively, for those who don’t fancy your chances of winning but are still budding anti-establishment artists and hanker for one of our shirts, you still have hope. Simply send us five of your designs in five consecutive weeks and, so long as the images, are yours (and we have ways of checking!), a t-shirt will be winging its way to you.
Adbusting — the choice of a new generation. For more on adbusting, click here.

 

The Meteor-illogical Office report
This week, we ask: if the there’s-no-global-warming-honest,-no,-really,-we-might-be-funded-by-big-energy,-but-trust-us brigade are right, then how come the Aussies had their hottest year ever last year?

 

the little red email Osama bin Laden Sweepstakes Shirt Contest!
Don’t forget: if you fancy a free Canned Revolution t-shirt, you can win one by simply guessing the date of Osama’s media debut as a US prisoner. Send your expected date of bin Laden’s first television appearance as an American prisoner to osamasweepstakes@cannedrevolution.com.